Friday 27 March 2015

The iPhone fucking sucks

I have an iPhone 5s and if it wasn't for the fact I could play Mahjong online for free and a few other games I probably would have broken my contract and ditched it way sooner.  Luckily, I didn't pay for the fucking thing as my 5s was provided for free when we signed up with the phone company.

Except the iPhone is a huge fucking piece of shit and always has been.  They never start that way though, when you first unbox it everything seems pretty good.  It does the messaging and the calling that you want and the app store has a few decent apps on there to keep you entertained during boring train rides or whatever.  It's a convenient piece of kit to have in your pocket and because of its mass popularity there is a lot of stuff and support available for it. 

But mark my words you are going to NEED that support so fucking bad after a year or so of using the damn thing because it will start to break on you for absolutely no fucking reason.  Every single person I've ever known that has owned an iPhone of ANY model has had it fuck up on them big time after a year or so of use.  These problems range from battery issues to buttons that just stop functioning or the thing slowing down for no goddamn reason.

2 days ago I was playing some Summons Board on the train, a monster breeding RPG made by the same people who brought us Puzzle and Dragon except it plays like a simplified Strategy RPG rather than a shitty version of Bejewled.  Anyway, I'm having a grand old time waiting for my stop when suddenly the game locks up and the thing fucking blue screens!  I mean the screen literally turned blue and then the thing fucking reset itself and I lost my progress.  This isn't the first game that its happened to either with certain titles like Mushihime Sama just crashing ALL the fucking time which is depressing because I really like that game.  At least I can go play it in my local arcade for 100 yen a credit...

Games fucking up is the reason I made this post but I've had all sorts of other issues too.  While my battery isn't quite kicking the bucket just yet, there are some days where it will decide it just wants to drop 10% for no goddamn reason.  Not to mention that 5 has become the new 0 which is deceptive and annoying.  Also for some reason every time I try to read a link on twitter it fucking crashes the app so I have to rush to the "open in safari" button just to read anything anymore.  There have even been points where the internet connection will just fucking die and I have to turn the damn thing off and on again to bring it back.

Like I said, everyone I know has had issues like this or worse.  The worst I've ever seen is on my friends phone where the swipe just decided to take an afternoon off.  He could still touch things using that button free interface or whatever the fuck its called by he couldn't open his phone which was a real pain in the ass considering that he was trying to contact his girlfriend a whole goddamn prefecture over.

Bottom line, iPhone fucking sucks.  I'm not all that clued up on the world of phones so I don't know what is a better alternative but I'm sure you can google it, you're a smart reader.

Fuck the iPhone
Fuck Apple
and fuck all these "trendy" wankers that rush out to buy the latest model day one.  Enjoy your paper weight, asshole.

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