Wednesday 17 October 2012

Capcom, seriously, what the fuck?

I don't think there is a single person who doesn't know about Capcom, I can pretty much say with complete certainty that almost anyone who has played video games for more than a year (probably less) has at least played one Capcom game.

But recently there seems to be a trend of big game developers just taking massive steaming shits all over their most beloved franchises.  Recently I've been talking about Konami and their ruination of Silent Hill, but now Capcom steps up and they have their pulsing anuses aimed right in Megaman's face.

Megaman, or Rockman if you are Japanese, is a series of shooty platform games where you play as a blue robot shooting the fuck out of other robots created by some bastard to take over the world or whatever.  Apart from the cool thing where after killing a boss you gain their power, what fans have really loved about this series is the difficult but fair gameplay these games offer.  If you are unprepared these games will kick your ass, but spend some time learning how to play and getting through a stage requires a good amount of skill and cunning, but without being bullshit.

So, the 25th Anniversary of Megaman rolls along, and Capcom decided to give us a game to celebrate!

So was it a remake of a classic Megaman game?...No
Was a it a brand new entry in the series like Megaman 9 or 10?....No
Was a new entry in the Battle Network series of Megaman games? Or a new portable game?

Nope, none of that shit, what we got was a fucking iPhone game.  That's right, 25 years of greatness, and we get to celebrate it with a fucking iPhone game.  But that isn't the worst thing either, the game is a fucking on rails 2D shooter type thing, with turn based boss fights and 0 skill required.  If you don't believe me, take a look!


Are you fucking serious?!  Everything that was good about Megaman is not here in this version, and it even gives you a choice to SKIP THE FUCKING BOSSES! One of the things that made Megaman so good, and you can just skip that shit if it's too hard for you!

So yeah, Megaman got a big steaming shit right in his face, with bits of corn and blood mixed in it for good measure.

This isn't the only stupid thing Capcom are doing too, there is all sorts of fan outrage at day 1 DLC for their fighting games, and Resident Evil 6 being a load of shit (still not played that one yet)  So please Capcom, just fucking STOP IT!

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